Save the quail
So, I'm comin' back from shopping yesterday, outside of Halifax, PA. I'm in a 55, so I'm movin' about 60. Got a car about 2 lengths behind me. I crest a small rise and there's 2 quail crossin' the road.
Can't go into the opposing lane, 'cause they're crossing that way. Can't slam on my brakes, 'cause not only will I probably still nail them, but I'll be wearin' the car behind me. There's a protruding mailbox on the berm about 10 feet in front of me.
So in a masterful bit of defensive driving, I lock the brakes for a sec, ride the swerve onto the berm, and pop back out 3 feet from the mailbox, missing quail & mailbox, and not even crossing into the opposing lane. Old lady in the yard jumped, but the car behind me never got closer than a car length.
So I get home. Do I get any congrats from the wife on this piece of mastery? Hell no. I get bitched out. "You put your wife and kids in danger for a stupid pair of birds". I explained that I hadn't, that the car behind me wasn't even close, that I'd missed the mailbox by 3 feet, and that I'd never left the asphalt. "I could have lost an arm". No, I wasn't even close to the mailbox, and what the hell were you doing hanging yer whole goddamn arm out the window anyway? "You scared that old lady in the yard. She jumped." First off, in a contest between squashing animals and an old lady having to change her Depends, guess which one's going to win? Probably spent her youth building crosses for her husband to burn on people's lawns anyway. I grew up outside of Halifax, and I don't have a great opinion of its citizens in the first friggin' place.
So anyway, saved the quail, got bitched out for my troubles, slept and trundled off to the office, where I'm gettin' screwed with again. Great start to the week.
Here's yer link. Band name about gives my opinion on humanity at the moment. The Tossers
posted by Burntdisk @ 8:09 AM
7 Comments:
I see you took my advice to check out the Tossers my friend. Dicey Riley or STFU! Sorry to hear about your day, but I would have killed those birds without a hint of guilt.
Yeah, I just like animals better than humans. Had it been a redneck, I would have had to think about it.
It's never hard to like an animal more than a person, is it?
That made me laugh, really loud, really hard. So that earns you something, right?
My grandmother used to speed up and try to hit groundhogs in her car...but I suppose that would be considered "unusual."
Depends, Stefanie, did she cook them afterwards?
Har har har- no. She left them to rot on the side of the road. That's just the kind of love my family inspires!
Haha I nearly spit my coffee.
And I agree that animals are far preferable to humans most of the time.
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